[personal profile] vawitch
Old Men

After his exam the doctor asked the elderly man: "You appear to be in good health. Do you have any medical concerns you'd like to ask me about?"

"In fact, I do," said the old man. "After my wife and I have sex I'm usually cold and chilly, and then, after we have sex the second time, I'm usually hot and sweaty. I can't understand why?"

Later, after examining the elderly gentleman's wife, the doctor said: "Everything appears to be fine. Do you have any medical concerns you would like to discuss with me?" She replied she had no questions or concerns.

The doctor then told her: "Your husband had an unusual concern. He claims that he's usually cold and chilly after having sex with you the first time, and then hot and sweaty after the second time. Do you know why?"

"Oh that crazy old fart," she replied. "That's because we have sex twice a year, the first time is usually in December and the second time is in June."

Groom's Day

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding.

“But, Officer,” the man protested, “I can explain.”

“Be quiet,” ordered the officer. “You can sit in jail until the chief gets back.”

“But, sir, I just wanted to say—“

“I told you to stay quiet! You’re going to jail!”

A couple of hours later the officer checked in on the man and said, “You’re lucky that the chief is at his daughter’s wedding. He’ll be in a great mood when he gets back.”

“I doubt that,” answered the prisoner. “I’m the groom.”
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